But God, I Trusted You

Can I be transparent with you all for a moment...Have you ever been through something? I mean really been through something...I’m talking broken down, hurt, face to the ground, ugly cry, I don't know how I’m gonna get out of the bed in the morning something? Okay, Maybe YOU haven’t , but I have.

A few years ago I went through a tough season in my life where I didn't know how I could ever recover. I lost my job, which as a single mom with one income resulted in extreme financial hardship. Eventually,  I found myself living on my best friends sofa with a young son. Very few people in my life knew what was going on, but my life was in a state of complete disarray.

During that season I spent a lot of time alone, I would go through the motions of life, I would take my son to school, come home  to my best friends small apartment, shut the curtains and mope in my self thrown pity party until it was time to pick him up from school. At 2:30 everyday I would shower, put on my public face for the world, put on  my mommy hat and face the world, but inside I was depressed and angry with God.  I trusted you God, I served you God, why is this all happening to me?

One day in the midst of my pity party I heard God say, “Did you really trust me, were you really serving me or were you simply going through the motions?

It was then that I realized that my trust wasn't in God at all, but  it was in my job. The moment my income source went away I was ready to curse God and give up.  The moment I lost my job I did not stand on what the bible says about God being my provider, I didn't pray for guidance and direction concerning my circumstance. Instead my focus turned to how am I going to make sure our bills are paid, what can I do to bring in income. My heart was so far from God, I had become so full of myself and my own abilities that I lost sight of the very one who gave me the abilities. I had moved so far outside of His will, outside of the safety net of Grace, and I hadn't even realized it. Isnt it funny how those things just sneak up on us? For a long time without ever realizing it I had been operating from a place of pride,  solely on Saprina’s will, plan and abilities.  

Trusting God does not mean that we won't go through thing or face hardship. It simply means that when we face those hard times you stand in the knowledge that God will bring you through. How can you know God as your provider if you never experience lack?

Faith is like a muscle, and its in those tough times that our faith is exercised.

The sole purposes that we were created is to bring glory to God and the moment he stops getting the glory for our lives we move out of his perfect will. “Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” (1 Corinthians 10:31 NIV) That means whatever we set out to do, it needs to bring glory to God.

Sometimes we  can become so full of ourselves that God has to strip us of everything in order to get our attention. Once I turned my focus away from my circumstance and put it back on God things began to turn around. Within a short amount of time God has not only restored everything I lost but completely elevated my life and I know that it's not because of my own abilities at all but rather the faithfulness of God. Today, everyday I die to myself and my constant prayer is that I always walk in God’s will for my life.  

I pray for any of you that are struggling in any area of your life. I pray that God give you guidance and strategies for every area of concern. If focus your attention on God and I promise he will give you peace, rest, guidance and understanding.

Trusting God was something I've struggled a lot with, Check out my previous post on Trusting God

Until next time.